weird feeling

I got a weird feeling today outside of Walgreens. Dalena and I were going to pick up a few things and a random dude knocked on my door. I saw this guy as we pulled into the space with a few dollars in hand so I figured he was going to ask me for money. This has happened on more than 1 occasion in this particular area. I got out of the car, and he did ask me for money after explaining his plight. Basically, he needed $20 to get firestone to come over, jack up his car, and then help him get the spare tire.

The weird feeling came when I tried to think about what to say. "No, I won't give you any money" didn't come out. Rather, I deferred to hollering at my wife after we got into the store because I didn't have cash. The guy mentioned something about me going to an ATM but that sounded shady. Dalena and entered the store, picked up our items and I spent the entire time in Walgreens debating back and forth about whether or not to take out $10 and give it to this guy. I felt sick inside, my stomach turning in knots.

Why did I feel this way you might ask? I've always been the nice guy. I'd love to help out everyone but after being the nice guy, I've gotten screwed over quite a bit. You see, the nice guy is nice to everyone but everyone isn't always nice to him. I've watched movies, TV and I've seen the news. Nice guy gives stranger some cash, but after pulling out his wallet, gets jumped for everything he has.

I was thinking about the Christian thing to do. I am reminded of the various parables and other stories about the good Samaritan, the woman who snubs the dirty homeless man who turns out to actually be Jesus, and the countless other tales of the diamond in the rough who is looking for that nice person to come along. Am I obligated to help this man? Is that the right thing to do?

The thing that threw me was that he asked for money. If he had asked to borrow my jack, or some tool, or asked for help changing the flat, I'd have done that without question. Instead, he asked me for $17 and offered to give me $40 in food in return for my assistance. What would you have done in the same situation?

As it happens, we did not give the man any money and I left Walgreens feeling weird and a lot like I should have given him something. If I had cash on me I'd have probably given him money but then I can say I'd probably have felt weird about doing that too. It's a strange thing.

For now, I must say good night. It's a big day back at work tomorrow after being out for a few days. The residents are packing to leave and the RAs are finishing finals. Here's to move out week!

Week in Review

I'm not sure what kind of information could possibly top Sunday May 1st. I'll see what I can do though. The week was rather eventful and a lot has happened since my last entry. As is customary, I'll start at the beginning :)

Dalena hopped a plane and made it safely to Houston Sunday night. I spent Sunday worried for her but knowing that the weather she was flying into was 100% better than what she flew out of. The RLAC Banquet, (end of year banquet for the Resident Assistant staff) was going on and I was trying to stay present there as several of my staff members were nominated for awards. Though none of them won, I was very proud of them anyway. It was a rough semester and they did well.

After the reception, all the craziness from the last entry happened. Fast forward to Monday. Staying up really late to play on twitter after a huge world event takes place does not for a good Monday make. Begrudingly, I woke up and got ready for the week. I find it odd that though I've not been married that long, I do not sleep well when my wife is not next to me. (sappy I know, but from the guys I've talked to, this holds true) The week started out and I just seemed to be a step behind. I'm not sure what was going on other than, I was stressed about the end of the year, worried about Dalena and her family, trying to figure out how I was going to get all the things that I do done for this week and next.

Thank God, Monday came and went and while I still felt overwhelmed, it wasn't quite as bad as this might read. Tuesday was spent preparing for my class which involved a presentation I needed to make about the final project. (Side note, I'm thinking of trying to get published with some of this research so here is hoping that happens) The class went very long and made for a very late night since Tuesday night is Kerr Hall staff night. Dalena's step dad was doing all right but as rough as my week was so far, Dalena and her mom were having a rougher one. They spent Sunday-Tuesday night in the ICU waiting room.

Wednesday, I woke up and packed my clothes. I was heading to Houston after work on this day. That drive ends up getting harder and harder each time I do it. I seriously wish that someone would hurry up and make a flying car. I've got the perfect prototype right here.

Anyway, we don't have flying cars that can travel through time so I huffed it and made the drive. I am so happy to have a Mom like mine. She opened her home to Dalena and her mom and they spent the night in a reclined position in the dark. Apparently the waiting room doesn't dim the lights so they slept in a brightly lit waiting room without taking a shower.

Since I arrived to Houston, we've spent a lot of hours sitting in the Shock and Trauma Intensive Care Unit waiting for good news. It's a sad place that can really get you down if you don't take a break now and then. Some people are there hoping for a miracle and some people are there that get to see one. It's a beautiful yet grusome place. That good news we were waiting for finally came today. For a full update on Don's condition, check out his caringbridge blog. I'll share the link later on but Don is doing much better today and is actually at the point in his recovery that he should be at. Doctors are very happy with his progress and plan to perform surgery on Monday. I kind of wish I could observe this because it is going to be 6 to 9 hours worth of work starting at the top of his head and working down, repairing bones and his eye as best they can.

For now, that is about all that is going on. I feel blessed to have been able to be here with Dalena and her family. It's been a lot of sitting but on the plus side, I've been able to get homework done and meet some new people in the process too. I'm sure our dogs hate that we've been gone so much but Mom takes them out and has been spoiling them. If she spoils our dogs like this I can only imagine what she is going to do with an actual grandchild.

Tomorrow we hit the road back to our home in Denton. Dalena is a little on the stressed side now because she has a lot of work to finish and missed a full week of school work and seeing clients. We are both so glad that this week ended with a high note though and hope that things continue moving in a positive direction for Don. For the most recent updates on his condition, go here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/donfonseca

I hope you all have a restful sleep. If you pray, think about praying for Don and his recovery, for Dalena's Mom to get some rest and ease the worry in her heart, for the doctors as they prepare for the full day of surgery Monday.

Take some time this weekend to clear your mind of the worry that rests inside you. I know I feel better when I get rid of that. Have a great weekend all!

What a day

Today was full of all sorts of emotionally powerful things. Some were amazing events and others were quite traumatic. It feels so long that I can't believe all the things that have happened. Here goes the run down.

Church this morning was pretty thought provoking. Working through the Book of Romans, we talked about the real problem with the world. All too often, people get caught up with the symptoms rather than dealing with the root of the issue. We as a people are distracted by so many other things that we forget the real reason we're here and who put us here. God. It was a great service and led to some great discussion over pancakes with Dalena.

After breakfast, we did some work around the apartment and did a little bit of homework. Dalena did more work while I watched some basketball. We got some bad news about an accident that her step dad had while working at home and which caused him to be airlifted to Houston Medical Center. We have been praying for him all day and the prognosis didn't look good earlier. We're still not sure how he is. Dalena hopped a plane to Houston and is there now. Hopefully everything turns out for the best.

Ma Mere, my grandmother, was admitted to the hospital today too. She recently had surgery to repair her pacemaker which was working poorly and it started to cause vibrations. She needed to be admitted so that it can be repaired.

I'm glad that both people are where they need to be so hopefully everyone will come out doing well.

After seeing Dalena off to the airport (Thanks Katie for taking her) Kerr staff headed to the RLAC banquet with a special guest. It was wonderful to see Lauren Dollarhide up at the podium speaking to us. She is an inspirational young woman who is in store to do some great things. God is good.

And now, as I type this post, I learn that Osama bin Laden has been killed. This closes a window to the much larger building of the war on terror. It's a bittersweet thing I suppose. One head to the hydra has been cut but now we as a people must watch out for the 3 heads that will pop up.

I just got an update on Dalena's step dad. He is out of surgery and has to make it through for now so that is good to hear.

What a full day!

Till tomorrow.

Pray for Don's recovery, Diricia's (Dalena's mom) worry and grief to be lessened, Demi and Dalena to be helped through this difficult time too. Pray for my grandmother and her healing in the hospital. Pray for the 9/11 victims and families. May they be at peace.

What a night.

the weekend

It's the weekend! Actually, the weekend is almost over. Sunday comes quick and it will be a full day of various activities. we have church, some homework, and then I'm attending a banquet and Dalena is going to our home group meeting. We will reconnect after all of that but tomorrow is going to be full of hopping from thing to thing. Whew!

This weekend has been really good so far. I woke up early this morning and put a lot of my online class behind me. It set me up to finish it quickly later on that day. I was hoping for a good game of ultimate to get me to run around a bit but we didn't have enough. Instead, we played a different game that shrinks the ultimate field down and requires everyone to play defense and make good, accurate, short throws. It was a decent game but I would have loved to play a full fledged game. Perhaps next weekend. (That reminds me, I've got to add anyone and everyone I've ever played with to try and grow the frisbee group)

The Laue's baby shower today was really cute. I am so excited for them and Dalena is too. We are glad to have them as friends and can't wait to see them begin their parental journey. It's so weird to have friends with babies and then to think that the whole dad thing isn't that far off for me. CRAZY! Exciting but crazy! It seems like only yesterday...

Ok, no flashbacks this time. It feels good to get stuff done this weekend though. My home desk is still a little messy. Dalena's side is too though so I don't feel too bad. We were having a silly play argument earlier which distracted both of us from doing the actual work we set out to do. Ehh well! Those silly games are what make being married so much fun.

For now, I'm going to work on my about.me and other pages. I'm slow to the tech stuff and only recently did my first googledoc. If you have never used that, it is wonderful. I'm going to need to get a vitae together too. It's a lot of work but will be helpful in the long run. I hope to have that, my about.me, linkedin, and a couple of other nice things looking really good by the end of May. It's a good goal.

As it is getting late, I think we're going to start settling down and might catch a movie. I might try to get us up early to run tomorrow. We need to get back to working out so we can run the White Rock half marathon. I can't wait to do that race with my wife. She has not idea how great she will feel.

Night all!

My mind

I have a lot on my mind right now. There is a large amount of stuff going on at work, with school and just life in general I suppose. The end of the academic year up to this point in my life has always had an effect on me that causes me to reflect on the state of things. In addition to that, there are many changed taking place all around me which is even further causing me to wonder some things. Now, where to begin? I guess there is a beginning so here goes.

My first cause of concern is on the large scale. I am not happy with the state of things in the world. I have felt for a long time now that as a society and people we are more broken than anyone ever thought and it seems to be getting worse not better. I am worried for the future and what that will hold. At this point my work environment is pretty safe but for how long will that last? My job security depends upon the ability of others to afford to pay to attend an institution of higher learning. As funding and support for universities and financial aid dwindle it becomes more difficult for others to get here. What will happen then? My other cause for concern is that I am at a transitional stage of life. While yes, I am not going anywhere soon, I am beginning to explore what is out there and what I need to be doing to get the next job. My real question though:

What is the next job?

The world is a scary place and I'm willing to accept that there isn't anything I can do on my own to change how it is so I will sit back and let God tackle that one and if He should decide to use me for that then so be it.

Let's take a look back at the previous year. Walk with me...

I taught a class. That was pretty exciting and time consuming. I'm leaning more firmly toward not doing that again but it felt so good to teach that I almost want to do it again. Almost. I have a job and I can't do it and teach at the level I hold myself to for both. I feel like I let that slip this year overall and even though things seemed to go well, there is a big part of me that feels like I could have and should have done better.

Taught the class. Got married! That was the highlight of this year. It's been so wonderful to this point and I know it will continue moving forward well. We are worshipping together, budgeting together, saving together, and many other things. It feels great to take care of someone and be taken care of. I still find myself in disbelief. I think it stems from it being so good and me not wanting it to all be a dream. If it is a dream, let me stay asleep.

I have begun a process to reinstate communication between me and family that became estranged. As someone who loves everyone and strives to find the good in all no matter who or what they are, I can't sit idly by and allow my family to be so distant from me when they put firth effort I will be matching it. So far reconnecting leads to success. I'll stick with it.

I have started and stopped working out many times. Come on Taylor. Get it together. No joke, I need and want to want to start again and get healthier. Grr!

a month ago today

March 11th was a memorable day for me and for the rest of the world. As I look back at wedding pictures and read the journal I kept on the honeymoon, I can't help but relive those amazing days. Dalena was so happy (still is too). I remember the first look I got of her when she was walking down the aisle in the gorgeous dress. It was a special and I will treasure that memory always.

As it happens, our wedding took place on the same day as the terrible earthquake and terrible tsunami that has ravaged Japan. We spent a fair amount of time watching BBC news on the honeymoon to pay attention to world events. It is difficult to have such a joyous occasion on a day that is filled with so much pain for so many. I recall the nights I prayed for the people of Japan and the families that were experiencing such pain. The only explanation I can muster is that God has a reason for everything.

My wedding day is forever locked in history for me for several reasons. A month has passed and Japan has yet to return to normalcy. Dalena and I are also not quite at a normal state either. It's a funny thing this whole marriage thing. We are both so happy but there are little things that we never thought would matter.

Scheduling is the big area we're working on right now. We are busy people and both of us had personal goals that now became shared goals. Dalena is an amazing woman who is tackling a difficult educational program. I am working on my 2nd degree and working full time. That said, we're loving life, each other and God. Personally, I have felt my faith grow so much since we met for the first time.

I always wondered how I would know who the woman I would marry. The truth is that I didn't until I did. Dalena and I met and something awoke inside of me and began churning. There were prays that escaped from my lips asking for the words, the courage, and the trust that she would be mine. March 11, 2011, I got my wish. The world, much like love, is such a tumultuous entity. God has some amazing power that can unite two people in such a strong way and He can ravage a country by shaking the very ground it sits upon.

I am thankful that our first month has been going so well, thankful that we have put together a lovely home, and that we can enjoy the company of loved ones without fear. It's truly a gift. I look forward to the day when we are able to spend more time together but we're united for the rest of our lives. In the coming weeks, I plan on working on my ability to be present in the moment, a skill we both wish to practice, my discipline to working out and reading the word, two more things both of us wish to do.

Here's to a month of marriage, and the many more we may be granted.

Training

My 27th birthday came and went with little surprise. I wanted to do something significant so with my good friend Lori, I decided to run the Rock and Roll half marathon. I did not train for this race and did it just for fun. I felt great afterward other than being sore. This got me thinking. If I did my running and then the other working out I'm doing, I could be really strong and potentially have a great race at White Rock in December. I'm not sure if I will run the full or the half at this point but I think I like the idea of the half marathon. Even more importantly, I like the idea of doing the half marathon with my wife.

Dalena said she would try so now it is my goal to coach her along and get her ready. We've got plenty of time to make this happen as White Rock is 9 months away. The first step is a 5k and then we're going to move up from there. She will be doing the insanity and p90x with me too which will be great for her. This will be lots of fun for the 2 of us to do and I can't wait to take this on.

It will be my goal to document this journey together similarly to the honeymoon journey. We'll see how it goes.


Until later...