I am sitting in a Starbucks off of I35 in Lewisville. The music playing is that folksy happy toned music which makes for a relaxing moment. The iced coffee I had did nothing to perk me up a bit.
This week has been a beating, but not the kind that kicks me to the curb and I'm not able to get up again. It's been a test.
How much do I want my (insert everything here)?
Taking two summer classes has proven to be an undertaking. Were I only taking 2 classes, this would be a no-brainer but that is not the case. Two classes, fulfilling my own expectations as husband, doing the kind of job at work I expect of myself, and then just keeping emotional space for all the family stuff going on is a bit of an undertaking.
The question I posed above is pretty much what keeps me motivated. I want a master's degree to have letters after my name and so I can progress forward in my career. I want to do well at work so that I can succeed there and hopefully set myself up to progress far forward when it's time.
Personally, I expect to be the best husband I can be. I don't do half assed relationships and for me to be me, well, I need to be present and support my amazing wife as she supports me. This is a bit much to take on at times, but I press on, because it's important to me.
I speak to God often about all of this too. At some point, He might have other plans for me, but for now, we press onward because there is a reason for all of this that is going on. I am starting to truly believe that nothing happens just because. I think that I sort of felt this way before but lately, it just seems to make sense. There is a plan and a supreme being that is totally completely aware of all that is, was, and will be. How could there not be? Is man the pinnacle of it all? This question is of course silly, but fun to ponder.
This might read as a bit of a stream of consciousness and hey, it might be. As I said before, this week has me battered and bruised but I'm still standing. Dalena and I are on the road (more on this in a moment) but had to stop since she has a meeting with the North Texas Association of Play Therapy. I may have this wrong but it's something like that. Anyway, she is President-Elect and had this meeting tonight. She will meet and then we will head out to Houston. Then, tomorrow, after taking my exam and she finishes a paper, we will roll toward Harlingen. It's going to be a long road trip but we've got food, drinks and Harry Potter on CD.
The trip is long but sometimes long trips are necessary. My grandmother passed away and she will be missed. We're going to Harlingen to pay tribute to her. I will write more about her in another post. I think I will also share the words I said about my maternal grandfather too. Lately, there have been many moments which cause a mass amount of reflection. Time moves forward and there is nothing we can do to stop it. (remember earlier when I asked if we were the pinnacle of everything?)
So as time presses forward, look around at things. Is this really where we want to be? AS a people I mean? Is this how things really ought to be? We can be better as a people, and we have all the power and technology at our disposal to make it...we just have to get out of our own way.
Now I'm about to pull off a correlation between what I just wrote and what I was talking about before...
Things have been crazy lately, not just for me personally, but in the world. I wonder what it is all for...maybe to prepare us for times ahead? We train now for what the future holds, and since Miss Cleo isn't around to predict the future, we have to be prepared for anything. So, these tough days are really just training days for the next big thing. the next couple of weeks, my classes will finish up and things will calm down. But once they do, I can look back and say I did it! I finished all that hard work and know I can handle some stress.
The key is to trust in God, have some loving support, and see the end goal.
This might not a lot of sense, in which case, I probably need a nap. That's why it is nice that Dalena is going to drive :)
Catch you all later...probably Tuesday unless we get internet in the hotel (here's hoping for free internet)
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